Bullied Student Commits Suicide
My heart is broken over this story about young Phoebe Prince who committed suicide because she couldn’t stop the bullies.
I know that Phoebe was 15 and in high school but I firmly believe that bullies are created at a very young age…beginning in elementary school. That is where kids are supposed to learn the basic tenets of how to act toward each other, how to be respectful, and how to treat each other as they would want to be treated.
But not every child learns those lessons. Maybe the schools don’t encourage teachers to talk about these issues, maybe they don’t bring in anti-bullying speakers to talk directly to the kids. And maybe these lessons aren’t being reinforced at home by the parents. There are a number of things that could have happened to create these bullies but somewhere along the way someone – or a group of “someones” – failed these children.
This is NOT to give an excuse to the bullies. No way, never! It’s never right to taunt someone relentlessly. I’m merely saying that parents and school districts should find a way to work together to combat this growing trend of bullying.
In the news article the question came up about whether the school should be held responsible for not ending the bullying. I’m mixed on that viewpoint and here’s why:
For administrators to do something about bullying, they need to know it’s occurring. In this case, it appears the school DID know about the bullying and did nothing – or at least very little – to stop it. If that’s the case, then obviously Phoebe was not kept safe while in the care of the school and that’s just plain wrong.
Do administrators always find out? Probably not. But teachers need to be more aware and they need more training about how to handle bullying without making the situation even worse. And the bullied students need a way to report the bullying behavior without fearing it will become worse because they told someone.
When it comes to online bullying, I think the school is not responsible, especially if this bullying takes place during non-school hours. Not many school districts have the money to hire someone to police all the social media sites online, especially for larger schools with thousands of students. A near impossible job.
However, if a student reports online harassment to administrators, then it’s their responsibility to look into the matter with more than just questioning the accused. And maybe that would involve hiring an extra guidance counselor or asking for police assistance but something has got to stop this behavior!
In our elementary school there’s been a debate over the last few years about what kind of behavior constitutes “bullying”. Some parents believe that calling someone a name is the start of bullying. Others agree that physical contact or ongoing verbal jabs are forms of bullying. As in any debate, there are two points of view. One mother told me her son was being bullied when another classmate made the comment, “Your handwriting is sloppy,” which to me sounds like a child stating a fact.
Unfortunately for teachers and administrators, this type of lesson needs to be taught in the classroom. Sure, the parents should be stepping up and doing their jobs, teaching their children respect and the difference between right from wrong. But as we all know, not all parents are present or capable of teaching those lessons. In fact, some parents never learned those lessons themselves and are teaching their kids how to become a bully by example.
Bus drivers also need to reinforce these lessons when the children are in their care. Yes, I know, the bus drivers are responsible for getting the kids home safely, but if there’s any bullying occurring on the bus, the driver should report the students involved asap. Or if there are bus monitors, they should be watching very closely and breaking up anything that appears to be bullying behavior and reporting those students.
Maybe it’s an idealistic way of thinking but if the kids know there are adults watching at school and on the bus, maybe they’ll start to learn.
What do you think? Do you have any innovative ways to stop bullies? Leave a comment below.
School Lunch Reform
